i need to go home

you didn’t deserve what it did to you, how it treated you. it wasn’t a lesson. it wasn’t meant to happen, and it was never your fault that the world is cruel, and real monsters hide behind human hearts.

you robbed me of my life. i could have been a human - i could have been alive, but you took my heart and you murdered it. you made me in to this.

every time my mood drops, it’s like i can hear everyone around me sigh a silent exasperation sigh of “not again.”

i promise that i am just as sick and tired of it as you are.

i still wonder who i would be if i was never traumatized

my head spins and i am back in my childhood home where i don’t exist

i will never win the “i don’t care” war. love disarms me completely and i’m bleeding out

“look at you comforting others with the words you wish to hear.”

maybe you were put on this earth to be kind and loving during a time when you are expected to be cold and calloused

one of the worst feelings ever is being in your own house and feeling like you need to go home