over

six months clean, 

from the blues and the snow

told you i’d be strong, 

it’s harder for you, i know

but four weeks of no contact isn’t so easy

i’ve started to shake, my lungs have been heaving

so i drove to the city, at 3 in the morning

and broke all of my promises against all your warnings

i woke up in a hotel room, in a stardust’s bed

and the things that transgressed  were the things you would have dread

the powder on his tongue went straight to my gums 

and i felt the light switch, the low droning hum

coursing in my blood, as i asked for more

when you get too far

what’s the point in remorse?

knew it had broken, the track i was upon

went up against you, not like you’d ever catch on

can’t hide from myself, as much as i try 

since the second i felt a new body on mine

though the factors are different, two separate addictions

in the minds of people like you and i,

they are the same convictions

if i get away with it once

it’ll happen again

practice makes perfect

and i’ll fight to pretend

you know me!

you know i could never be true

but you trusted the exceptions

that i might make for you

but people don’t change 

that’s only a lie

and i felt it as the room

filled with the morning light 

scrambled away 

when he begged me to stay

pulled the car to the side of the road

and felt my body fold in disarray